Why can't people....

just move on with their lives? Why the hell do that have to have closure? Seriously, why bug the crap out of the person you shit on? To make yourself feel better about the fact that you shit on them? I have a great idea? Don't crap on them in the first place! Then there's no need for therapy you silly little fools. It truly is amazing how people think they can kill or maim or betray someone then think they can walk away with a clear conscience by 'finding Jesus' or getting therapy or rehab? WTF is that all about? Do you really think that makes the incident go away for the other person? That the person you BETRAYED will forget it happened? Are you out of your collective minds?

This is just another indication of the selfishness in America these days. It's all ME ME ME, and to hell with YOU YOU YOU. You stupid, shallow woman. Do you really think I want to go over the events of your betrayal of me? No, not really. I'd just as soon see you made King (or Queen) as to go over this again. Personally I think flaying isn't good enough for you, but your therapist (and I use the term LOOSELY) tells you that you need closure with me. I have a great idea for closure, STFU and Get Off My Lawn! No, really. Try it. I bet it works.

The fact you keep at it. The fact YOU won't let ME go is indicative of your sickness. The knowledge that you betrayed me is killing you inside and you can't handle it. And I am free and clear of you. And you hate it. You hate that I'm VERY HAPPILY married and you aren't. That you couldn't keep a man (and still can't) happy by being a bitch. You hate the fact that I go home to my wife every night and you go home to an empty, cold bed. So you insist on dragging me into your pitiful little world and trying to bring me down. Too goddamn bad. It's not working, so stop it.

I have closure. You don't. You won't let it be. It's sad that you are at the level of instability that you are. It's sad that you don't get it and won't ever get it. I've been strong enough to put Tina aside and have held my heart in check until my very own daughter was 18 before she can see me because of her and yet you can't move on from this. Maybe you should grow a set of testicles.

Stop asking me when I died. Stop making some silly half-assed philosophical metaphor out of your betrayal in instant messages to me. You wanted ME to leave you alone. But you won't let me. Grow up. Act like an adult and leave me out of your delusions. I'm HAPPY in my life, and you cannot keep me from being happy. You can't do anything more than make you look silly and childish.

Another day..

People sometimes wonder about me and why I don't have more friends. That's easy. I don't like people. Oh, I can be nice to them, and even very personable, but deep down, I much prefer my books to people. They are so shallow and fake any more. It's disgusting. I am constantly amazed at what people will do and say to other people. It's really a joke. When you know someone is bullshitting, do you ignore it and let them keep talking? I sure don't. I tell them they are bullshitting. It's crazy. Say what you mean and GTFA, you know?

Apology

I think I should apologize to Angela for everything I've said. Until now I thought she really was just pushing my buttons, which of course she knows how to do very well. But it's QUITE obvious that she's not JUST doing that. It's plan as day that there really is some sort of problem mentally with her. And that is another story altogether. Mental illness is not funny and it's not worth getting angry with someone who's suffering from it. Therefore, I am deeply sorry for anything I've said to hurt you. Had I known then that you were mentally disturbed I would have tried to help you and not flame you every chance I got. I'm very sad to see the significant changes I've seen in you the last few months in this light. I definitely hope you get the help you need to overcome this problem and I hope it's sooner, rather than later that you realize you NEED help so that you can get back to normal.

I really am sorry for anything I've said. I was angry and now I know the reason behind your behaviour is beyond your ability to control. Please, seek help, these actions only prove to me you are sick and need to be made well again. You are too wonderful a person to let this illness destroy your life, your family and your friends.

I will say no more except I wish you all the best and hope that you get the help you need. Good luck.

I thought I was done with this....

Dammit. Why don't some people just learn their lesson? Does it take a brain surgeon? No. It's plain and simple: STFU and GOML (Get off my lawn). Let me tell you something, Angela. You're the worst fucking mistake I've ever made in my entire life. Being your friend was just a waste of 7 years of my life. You SORRY PATHETIC SACK OF SHIT!!! How DARE you come to my office and think you can fucking intimidate me? I can't be intimidated by anyone especially a lower life form like you. You make me sick to even look at any more. Godammit woman I will break you. You think I won't say it to your face? Bullshit. I told you take you skanky trashy friends and GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME. I'm done with you. I should have fucked you and forgotten you, but I didn't. I actually did care for you at one time, but no longer. You became someone else. Someone I simply detest to the core of my being.

And if you do not leave me the fuck alone, I will make you miserable. You've yet to feel my rage, so back the fuck off. I've had it. I won't let you interfere with my life, my job, or my family any longer. Take a hike you slut. I'm going to take a brillo pad to my brain to erase the memory of you. You sorry waste of DNA. You silly little girl who thinks I'm easily cowed. I've taken down bigger fish than you. And speaking of fish, what's the rotten smell? I just don't know why anyone would want to hit that now? Although I'm sure it's been all over the town this year. I figure in a few weeks you'll be selling it on ebay or craigslist. I hope no one is stupid enough to pay for it though, it's not that good.

Seven years I cared for you as a friend and this is the thanks I get. One time I'm not at your beck and call and you throw shit at me like you did? You cannot fathom the depth of my anger. You cannot imagine the hatred and sadness I feel for you. You are so deluded it's a joke. You've got your head so far up Brett and Juliana and Kent's asses it's a wonder you can breathe. Have fun up there. One of these days they will shit you out like you did to me and then you'll be where you like it least. ALONE.


Get it bitch? ALONE. The one thing you hate more than anything. So fuck you and your solitary life, stay away from me and my family and go to hell.

Have you ever....?

Have you ever met somebody and thought 'man I bet they would be really cool to hang out with?' and then you get to know them and realize they are nothing but useless wastes of DNA? I gotta say it happens way too often nowadays. I've never seen or met so many fake people in my entire life. They live their lives in their own little fantasy world with no regard for reality. And when those people have kids it's even worse. Their little hellions end up just getting in the way of the real people and generally being nuisances.

Take my ex-friend, Angela, at one time I thought she was incredibly nice, and intelligent. Now I see the real whore on the inside. A trashy useless female who sucks in bed (the bad way, not the good way) and who has nowhere near any grip of reality. She pulled the wool over my eyes for seven years. So either she's the greatest actress living today, or I'm an idiot. Okay, I'm an idiot. I mean it's so bad that even though I've NEVER had problem getting it up that I had to will an erection the last time I was with her just to get it over with. I could smell the cigarette smoke on her breath and it was like having my face in an old fireplace. Her flabby belly from the gastric bypass surgery was enough to make me vomit almost and she only knows one position, missionary and even then is like a dead tuna. No wonder her husband dropped her. I've had better sex with myself. It's gross to even contemplate.

WTF was I thinking? Who knows. I wish I could clorox out every moment of us together. And every other moment I talked/texted/IM'd her too. I've met some trashy women in my day but she's the queen. She makes Paris Hilton look like Mother Theresa. Maybe at some point I'll stop ranting about her. I need to find another hobby than basing her. She's (literally) too easy... a target.

Deluded people

You know, it amazes me how deluded people are nowadays. They do incredibly stupid shit (like piss me off) and then pretend that it was someone else's fault. That whole 'victim mentality' just drives me batty. I can't stand idiots who think they can just do what they want and blame it on someone (or everyone) else. The entire culture of America has degraded to nothing but a bunch of finger pointing pansies without any sort of accountability. When I screw up, I take the blame, I'm man enough to deal with it. How many other people will do that? Not many I'm sure.

And you wonder why the country is going to hell in a hand basket?

What are friends?

You know, in this day and age of near instantaneous (and maybe not so much NEAR anymore) communication, why does it seem like I have fewer friends? I mean real friends. Ones that have your back, or actually hang out with you instead of just being some stupid avatar in an IM client or a not-so-witty signature line in a text message. Is it because that separation makes us less connected to people? Or is it because Americans are just bigger assholes now? Seriously. When a good friend like the one I just reamed in my previous post just implodes as a friend, what really is the matter? I should still be pissed about the entire situation with her, (I am) but I'm really more sad at how selfish we as a people have become. I was raised to help people, respect them and do them no harm, unless of course they did unto me first. Where'd that go? When someone I've called friend for seven long years, when she was having troubles with her marriage, I was there. When she needed someone after the marriage was over, I was there. Yet, when 'cooler' friends show up, I'm dog meat, doesn't that say something about the people in this world?

I'm a caring person. At least I try to be. I like people, in general, but most of them now could fall off the earth and I doubt I would notice. When that happens, what is next for me? What does that make me? Like them (and her)? Just another self-serving egomaniac? I really hope not. My mother would kick my ass if I became like her. (And yes, Angela, she knows the whole story and trust me, you don't want her to get hold of your sorry ass either for trying to 'hurt her boy' (her words not mine.)

Nowadays it seems I have a lot of 'contacts' but few 'friends'. I've always been selective about who I call friend, so I've always had fewer than most, but I knew I could count on and trust (okay not ALL of them obviously, listening Angela?) them more so than other people with their friends. And I liked it that way. But now, now is a different story. Maybe that's from growing up, growing older and having a lot of children taking up most of my time, but maybe it's just due to the fleeting connections we have as people now.

And just think of my kids. What 'friends' will they have? What will they call a friend? Someone who replies to a text within a certain time? One who's on all your contact lists? Sadly I feel the personal connection is rapidly losing the battle against technology and with it goes our natural means of determining who's a bullshitter and who isn't. And without that natural determination of trust, then you can't really have a friend, can you?

An Open Letter to Angela

Dear Angela,

I know you won't ever read this, but who cares. I'm venting to your sorry ass anyway. I've never met such a superficial, trashy lying hypocrite in my entire life. How dare you think you can snipe at me through a text message and think I won't retaliate. Please, you've not been at this game long enough to know my anger. And I thought we were 'best friends'. You wouldn't know a best friend if you came up and bit you on that flat ass of yours. That lie there broke my from any feeling I had for you. Period. You got new friends who are just pitiful reminders of the fact that most of WNC is still redneck trash.

Let me break it down for you simply:

I knew you were lying about the cigarettes the minute you said they were Brett's. No one smokes those kinds of Camels I saw at your place and then goes to Marlboro MENTHOLS. Are you kidding me? I'm not an idiot.

Triple D's? I think not. My wife's a 40E and both your tiny ones put together wouldn't make one of hers. Quit fooling yourself.

Wanna talk about trust? Wanna know why I didn't bring you to my family? Because I knew you were nothing but trash and trouble from the minute you started hanging out with 'those people'. You became an entirely different, and completely TYPICAL person. And that made you less of who I knew and cared about. Much less.

Soulmates? When did soulmates run out the first time things didn't happen exactly as planned? I was sick and tired of catering to your sorry ass on Saturday which is why I didn't call or text you. Not to mention I was actually sick. Of course you blow up and think otherwise.

Boyfriends? Yeah I figured as much you skanky whore. I knew I wasn't the only one tagging that nasty gash of yours. Freaking skank. I don't know what's happened to you, but I liked the old Angela much, much better. This one is psychotic. Maybe it's a midlife crisis, maybe not. The only thing I know is, you're not you. You think you are, but you're not. And this new you is disgusting to me.

What's really sad is we spent 7 years as really good friends. Best friends at least from my point of view. And you barf it all up like a hairball. I don't get that, but then I don't get this 'new and Trashy you'. Personally, I stopped caring for you and about you a while back. And now that I've vented I can say this with utmost sincerity:

YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS CAN SOD THE FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!